You’ll be happy to know I opted to confront my husband verbally about his emotional avoidance. At first. It quickly escalated into a physical altercation. We had a tussle in the bedroom on Thursday night and not in a fun way. I told you: if he won’t talk to me, he’ll need to be punished. Really, it was just a lot of shouting and shoving each other around until I pinned him on the floor and he calmed down.
We talked it out, properly. Whenever he tried to deflect I would just kick him in the shins and he did the same for me – like we were children developing communication skills. But it worked; we got it all out in the open and left nothing to misinterpretation. I won’t go into everything we talked about. There are probably some things I should keep private in this family.
I had to give Jason a proper explanation the next morning – I could see a few uncomfortable looks at the breakfast table. I promised I would be completely open and honest if he asked me but I wouldn’t share everything with him. He is my son, not a sounding board; that’s what I have my dear readers for.
Jason’s doing all right, by the way. Has a steady girlfriend, job he’s not in love with but goes to five days a week. By all accounts he’s happy and healthy. I’m more than okay with the fact that he’s thriving without my guidance; but I sometimes feel we don’t have anything to talk about. We don’t talk about my work, James’ work, or family – I stopped asking about Jason’s work when I kept getting the same nonchalant response. These days I barely tell him when he might be in danger because of my actions.
I wanted to share this situation with him as a bridge to open communication. Reaching out to Jason on occasion won’t kill us. It may do us both some good.
And that’s where we are this week: a little tired and bruised but lighter.
I’m glad I talked to my husband first. Who knew communication was so essential to a marriage. That’s a forced joke, I know. Sometimes I don’t know how to end an update. I just keep writing until it feels right even if I have nothing left to say. Like now. I don’t know what else to say but I haven’t quite found the urge to end this update.
Just do it.
As always, dear readers,