You know what I haven’t done in YEARS? A good old-fashioned murder mystery. One targeted murder, a full investment in the victim’s family, several reasonable suspects for the police to arrest, and so much unnecessary drama. I thought about this last week on my way home from work. I would need to find someone easy with lots of “friends” with a motive.
I’ve been watching this woman at a local coffee shop.
You know I’ve never put much stock in the old coffee shop trope but routines are important when hunting for victims. Any good killer knows that. So I’ve been watching this woman at a local coffee shop – wasting tens of dollars on slightly burnt pumpkin spice – and I think she might be the one.
She comes in every day at the same time with this man who looks at least 20 years older. He always pays for whatever she orders. She always kisses him on the cheek and smiles lovingly. But as soon as he gets up, she’s on her phone. I came in on Sunday and she was there alone; still on her phone. There were a few other people I recognized but no one did more than nod in her direction. The entire time she was there, though, she didn’t order anything. She sat at that table for hours. I played so many games of solitaire on my laptop – I officially suck at solitaire by the way – and then around 5pm she just left. Monday morning, she was back with her elderly gentleman. It was odd.
I’m headed there before work to see what she’s up to. I suspect more sitting and texting. Should be very entertaining. Maybe I’ll give it a week before striking up a conversation. I need to know what I’m getting myself into.
In the meantime, I figure one or two kills a week will keep me going. I find when I’m working on a long project like this, I need to blow off steam; do something that’s not necessarily challenging or mentally engaging, but fun.
Me-time is very important to mental health, dear readers. If I’ve taught you anything over the years – it’s probably not mental health. But if I’VE learned anything about certain trips to the psychiatric ward, it’s that you can’t cut yourself off completely from the things you enjoy.
Projects like this are hard but the reward is 10 times what a regular kill offers. Still, keeping up the routine is just as important for killers as it is for victims. Familiarity breeds contentment. That’s the phrase right? I’m pretending it is.
As always, dear readers,